It seems fitting that as we crossed the border into Romania, it was bang on midnight.I know this, because although we had caught the so called 'sleeper' train from Budapest to Brasov, we were rudely awoken at 11:30, then again at midnight for passport checks. This was strange, because since we left London, we haven't had our passports stamped once, or even been asked for, any time we've entered a new country. That's an EU thing. But obviously the Romanians have their own way of doing things. In the middle of the night.
We travelled first class (of course!) but I was surprised to see the toilet shoot emptied straight onto the train tracks below. Not to mention the disconcerting breeze whipping wildly in and out when you're sitting there. I'd hate to think what the loo in second class looked like.
Like I said, Romania has its own way of doing things.
So on our first afternoon in Brasov, we wandered the streets, visited the Black Church (so called from when it once survived a town fire, but changed colour for many years due to the soot) and bought a delicious bottle of icy cold water, because it was 29 degree's and getting hotter.
While I loved the bottle of water at first (deliciously cold, didn't taste like slime) I hated it after half an hour. Because that stupid bottle of water had a teeny tiny hole in it, that slowly leaked throughout my whole bag. If it wasn't bad enough that my camera got pretty wet (although an afternoon drying out in the sun seemed to fix it) the real problem was, it totally soaked through my passport, which was still in my bag from our midnight wake up by the border controllers. Fingers crossed it gets me through the rest of the trip, I'd hate to get stranded at some border because of a leaky water bottle.
Our second day in Romania was more traumatic than the first. We'd booked the Dracula's Footsteps tour (because one of us might have a wee obsession with vampires) and we visited two castles linked to Vlad the Impaler. Vlad was Bram Stokers inspiration for Dracula, apparently, which is why it was set in Transylvania, the area he ruled in his lifetime. Word has it he was a ruthless ruler and murderer. Hence why he was known as the Impaler.
Before you ask, no, we did not meet Vlad Tepes himself as a bloodthirsty vampire, out to turn us into fledgling vamp's ourselves. No. That would have been much better. I might even have liked that.
What we got intead of a tall, dark, mysterious vampire who we were strangely drawn to, was a short, fat, sweaty so-called-guide who was really more of a kamikaze, porno, conman cum taxi driver, that repelled us.
His driving "skills" were scary, even by Romanian standards, which we heard were bad enough, but this guy was off the hook. He'd text, make phone calls and watch us in his rear vision mirror, whilst only just managing to stay on the road. And let's just say the only time he was within the speed limit, was when he started from stationary.
Suddenly my passport seemed like the least of our worries, just making it home alive was more of a concern.
But I did notice as we flew through the streets and around corners, a man cutting his lawn with a scythe. I kid you not. If we hadn't been moving at the speed of light, I'd have taken a photo.
We made it to Bran Castle, or as it is now known, Dracula's Castle. As was becoming horribly apparent, our 'guide' knew nothing about the castle or its history, and said he'd prefer to stay outside anyway, while we went in, because he'd gotten into a fight the week before with the guard at the gate and he couldn't tell us anything useful about the place. We believed him. So we went in alone, and listened to tidbits of information other 'real' tour guides were telling their groups. It seems, Vlad never lived here, and though it is beautiful, this castle has nothing to do with the Dracula myth in the slightest. They call it Dracula's Castle because they make more money that way.
Typical.
Our next stop was Poenari Castle, and this place really was Vlad's home in the 15th Century. It's in ruins now, and apparently one of the most haunted places in the world. I didn't learn this from our sweaty 'guide', cause when I told him, it was the first he'd ever heard of it. No, I found this all out online. Thanks Wiki. If you can make the climb up the 1500 steps, you do get rewarded with a spectactular view though. It's mostly just the foundations of the castle left now, and our guide started hammering into a surviving wall telling us to steal a piece, so who knows how much will be left in another year...
Then we had an almost 3 hour drive back to Brasov, and that's where he got really scary. He decided we were mates enough now to share almost everything about his life. How he stole $100,000 from his employers when he was an accountant. How he deals drugs in summer to make extra cash. How he can find anyone a hooker in Brasov, man, woman, gay, straight. How he has underground connections with all the thieves in Brasov, so to call him if our stuff got knicked and he'd get it back. And then, just to top it off, he told us all about his own sexual proclivities, and how he enjoyed cheating on his wife. Hint hint.
By the end of the trip we practically leapt out of the car, threw a wad of cash at him, and ran away like death row inmates suddenly given parole.
You don't ask questions, you just get the hell outta there.
So Romania, I think there are good things here. The landscape and scenery is beautiful. They just haven't quite figured out how to cater to the tourist quite yet though. And I think we just had the bad luck to stumble accross a grade A freak.
So will I ever come back?
No way.
